REFLECTIONS AT CNWE CONFERENCE 2001

by: Ellen Leonard csj.

For me Vatican II, the study of theology and the Women's movement all came together to completely transform my life. As a young woman I experienced a call to ministry in the Catholic church. I remember telling my mother that I would like to be a priest, preferably a Jesuit--but this was not a realistic goal for a Catholic girl in 1951. I joined the Sisters of St. Joseph and after novitiate, became an elementary school teacher.

Vatican II in the mid 1960s profoundly changed the way women religious lived our lives by encouraging us to a renewal based on a return to the sources--the gospel and our own particular charism and adjustment to the demands of the times. With great enthusiasm I embraced the new vision of a church open to the world and of religious involved in the mission of transforming the world. My involvement centred around the catechetical renewal and took the form of adult education of parents and teachers. This in turn led me to the study of theology. I did my MA at Manhattan College in New York (1969-71 ) and my doctoral work at St. Michael's (1973-78).

During the 70's I was involved in the Women's Ordination Movement. This was the time when Anglican women in Canada were preparing for ordination. In 1975 I was one of 1200 participants, mostly women, who gathered in Detroit for the first Women's Ordination Conference. Many of the participants, like myself, were Catholic sisters, women with excellent academic backgrounds and years of pastoral experience. But there was a wider sense of sisterhood that embraced all of the women present--and reached out to all our sisters. As we listened to talks and prayed together it seemed that it would not be long before many of these women would be ordained as priests within the Roman Catholic Church. I attended other WOC conferences. The fact that I was sent by my dean indicates the climate at the time. Women were being welcomed into the Faculty of Theology as teachers and as students. I began to teach at St. Michael's in 1977, a time when most of the MDiv students were male seminarians. Gradually they were joined by a few courageous women like Alexina. Although there was some resistance to women studying and teaching theology in a seminary context, we brought a new energy and enthusiasm to the life of the faculty. For instance when it was Alexina's turn to lead the seminar in my sacraments course, as the only married person in the class she brought her partner Marcus to share her presentation. Classes were much more interesting and challenging when they included students like Alexina.

It was Alexina who initiated the conversation about having a Canadian Ordination conference. I remember meeting in her home and as plans for the conference gradually unfolded Marcus got out the bottle of champagne. Something new was being born. Sophia was quietly at work.

Although as Alexina has said ordination remains a central concern, it soon became obvious that ordination was not the only theological issue that needed to be addressed by feminist Christians. There are deeper theological questions about the nature of humanness, the nature and mission of the church, and even the ways we think and talk about God. As I reflect on my own experience and the experience of other Roman Catholic women, the fact that our tradition has refused to even consider ordaining us has actually forced us to look at these deeper issues. I would probably not be a theologian today if I could have been ordained in my own tradition. From those early days my ever-expanding feminist consciousness has become increasingly formative in how I do theology, a process encouraged by successive groups of women students. In Anne Carr's words feminism has been for me "a transforming grace."

Alexina and I both experience ourselves as part of "women-church" as we join with Christian women here in Canada and in other places. Both of us attended the World Council of Churches Assembly in Vancouver 1983 and had the opportunity to meet women from all over the world at the "Well," a special women's space. We were privileged again in 1991 to meet with women from all continents in WomanSpace at the World Council of Churches Assembly in Canberra, Australia. I recall the small networks of women of different ages and backgrounds that Alexina introduced me to in England. At the same time I have discovered women-church among the women with whom I live as a member of a religious congregation.

As I have become increasingly aware of the sexism within the Catholic Church I have claimed my own priesthood. Teaching theology in a ministerial setting has given me scope. The decision to seek ordination in another Christian tradition is one that I can understand, but not one that I could make. I could not do it because it would not be me. I'm a Sister of St. Joseph, a Catholic with strong roots that go back for generations. I grieve at the sexism within my church. I am grateful for the work of feminist scholars who have uncovered another reality within our tradition-what may be called "Women-Church." Communities of women have always existed within the church sometimes almost submerged by the male hierarchical structures but never totally submerged. In my own work I am committed to affirming the gifts of women, both past, present, and future in whatever ways I can, by teaching, writing, and personal contact. Although I am official retired from St. Michael's, this commitment continues. I rejoice to see younger women continue the struggle. As Edwina proclaimed last night, we can make a difference.